striving to be faithful in the small

"Draw near to God and He will draw near to you." (James 4:8)

Why is it that that which I desire most in my life, I seem to have the hardest time attaining. More specifically, why do I find it to be such a challenge to maintain a consistent DAILY time in which to read my Bible & have alone time with God. This is, more than anything, what I strive for in my life...I know this is something I need as a method of accountability and daily surrender, but yet it seems so far beyond my reach at times. All it takes for me to fall away from such consistency is one miss...after which I am overcome with a guilty conscience for not having followed through...followed by not wanting to delve back into solely on account of my shame...I want it to be something I do because I want to do it which I do, but yet the guilt prevails. I know that God simply just wants me to come to Him, but yet it remains a struggle...His open arms, I am so unworthy of, yet He will never let me go - for this I am thankful, esp today.